I suffered from mental illness my entire life. From the time I was a girl, I endured anxiety and crippling panic attacks. One example is the year that I developed a terrible preoccupation with my younger sister. I had to know where she was at all times. If I could not get to her I would become hysterical, convinced that something tragic had happened. Later in life I became depressed. My adolescence suicidal thoughts were a constant. I wrote pages and pages of poetry on the subjects of blood and tears. In elementary school I became significantly overweight. These problems worsened as I got older. During my junior year as an undergraduate, I decided that something needed to change.
When I was suffering from depression and anxiety, I had no idea that 99% of the thoughts passing through my mind were negative and irrational. I had been living unconsciously for so long because it was all I ever knew, I didn’t know that there was something wrong with it. I thought that it was normal. Meanwhile, my mind and my thoughts were killing me slowly.
My therapist was an angel. She told me that I was suffering from anxiety and depression and that it was very treatable. I thought that she was insane. It just could not be that simple or logical. I had been depressed and suicidal forever. Things had gotten so bad that sometimes I lost touch with reality. When she told me that I could get better and that it was only a matter of changing my thought processes, I nearly walked out of her office. I knew that I was screwed up, perhaps schizophrenic, definitely a lost cause.
Today, I know that I was very wrong and she was very right. My depression was severe but it was a direct result of negative, irrational thoughts. My anxiety was also severe (so severe that it caused me to disassociate at times) but it too was a direct result of negative, irrational thoughts.
This time I would save myself.
-Story from livelovesimple.com (further citation has been done in the tab)
When I was suffering from depression and anxiety, I had no idea that 99% of the thoughts passing through my mind were negative and irrational. I had been living unconsciously for so long because it was all I ever knew, I didn’t know that there was something wrong with it. I thought that it was normal. Meanwhile, my mind and my thoughts were killing me slowly.
My therapist was an angel. She told me that I was suffering from anxiety and depression and that it was very treatable. I thought that she was insane. It just could not be that simple or logical. I had been depressed and suicidal forever. Things had gotten so bad that sometimes I lost touch with reality. When she told me that I could get better and that it was only a matter of changing my thought processes, I nearly walked out of her office. I knew that I was screwed up, perhaps schizophrenic, definitely a lost cause.
Today, I know that I was very wrong and she was very right. My depression was severe but it was a direct result of negative, irrational thoughts. My anxiety was also severe (so severe that it caused me to disassociate at times) but it too was a direct result of negative, irrational thoughts.
This time I would save myself.
-Story from livelovesimple.com (further citation has been done in the tab)